“Grow up and handle your own kids”: Woman denies free babysitting to desperate brother-in-law when he begs for help during wife’s vacation, she’s accused of being too harsh by her husband’s family

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Briana Viser • Writer and Editor
Jan 14, 2025 12:00 PM EST

The only thing worse than babysitting is babysitting for free when you don't want to. Feeling like you're roped into doing favors for someone else can feel irritating and frustrating, like you're being used, your boundaries are being crossed. Sometimes you even may be left feeling obligated to if you don't help this person, especially when it comes to children. 

When it comes to family though, it should be ingrained in us to an extent to want to help our family members. Of course, this has to be within your boundaries and on your own accord. If it comes to helping your sister with her new baby and you want to step up, that's one thing. If it's your distant brother-in-law who you think is being a pathetic baby himself, that's a different story. 

This brings us to the story below. The narrator is a woman who gets a call from her brother-in-law desperately asking her to help him with his children. She claims they're well behaved. His wife is out of town on a girl's trip for 5 days, and already the husband is falling apart. 

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  • 01

    AITAH for telling my brother in law to take care of his own kids??

    "Your brother is being pathetic"
    via Peopleimages.com - YuriArcurs / Canva

    This image is for illustration only, and the subjects are models; the image does not depict the actual subjects of the story.

  • 02
    My sister in law (36) is out of town for a week on a girls trip to nyc, her husband (37) is staying home during her trip and caring for their two kids, boy is 4 and the girl is 10. Both decently behaved kids, nothing crazy. Anyway sister in law has been out of town for about 5 days and this
    via u/senoritag
  • 03
    Cheezburger Image 10454094080
    via travnikovstudio / Canva

    This image is for illustration only, and the subjects are models; the image does not depict the actual subjects of the story.

  • 04
    man called his wife's parents (my husbands parents) and was saying how hard it is waking up so early and how he's struggling and he wants to ask my husband. for help but he's too embarrassed... basically my husbands parents have called us to say we should call him and see
    via u/senoritag
  • 05
    if he needs any help. WHEN I TELL YOU I WAS SPEECHLESS. I told my husband we are not calling this man because he's their DAD! obviously his wife's been doing everything and deserved that trip! I told my husband that his brother in law is pathetic and needs to grow up and handle his own kids, if it was
    via u/senoritag
  • 06
    more than a week MAYBE we would step in but again WHY??? Now hubby thinks I'm being too harsh and that we should have called. Why do you think Reddit?
    via u/senoritag

  • She's really coming from a woman's perspective. He's obviously never been alone with the kids for this long, and lacks the skills to know how to even parent them. It's a good lesson for him to learn how to be a real father. 

  • 07
    Fluffy_Sheepy NTA. Clearly he needs to do more of this and really gain a better appreciation for just how much his wife does for him. He needs the reality check and to step up as a father and husband. If he
    via u/Fluffy_Sheepy
  • 08
    were a halfway decent man, he'd worship the ground that woman walks on when she comes home and then do better in the future. But since he's gotten this far without being an active dad, I'm guessing he isn't and that nothing will change
    via u/Fluffy_Sheepy
  • 09
    aside from him attempting to forbid any future trips.
    via u/Fluffy_Sheepy
  • 10
    Mpg19470 NTA. He'll have more empathy for his wife and appreciate her more when she returns.
    via u/Mpg19470
  • 11
    Cheezburger Image 10454094336
    via oksanashufrych

    This image is for illustration only, and the subjects are models; the image does not depict the actual subjects of the story.

  • 12
    Instruction No 1096 I can't stop laughing at your brother in law. If your husband wants to call him and offer him his own help, then he should. But if he wants to call to volunteer anyone but himself - no. ΝΤΑ
    via u/Instruction No 1096
  • 13
    Connect Read6782 You didn't have those kids. If your MIL thinks they should be taken care of, she can do it. Not you.
    via u/Connect Read6782

  • These comments make some good points – if the OP's husband wants to help his brother, he can do it himself, instead of dragging his wife into it. 

  • 14
    FlickOfTheDisc NTA at all. As a father, it drives me absolutely insane when incompetent men complain about being a parent. "Any fool with a can be a dad, it takes a real man to be a father" is a quote to live by.
    via u/FlickOfTheDisc
  • 15
    AuntJ2583 Your hubby says "we" should call? Which part of "we" would have done th actual childcare?
    via u/AuntJ2583
  • 16
    Only_Never Again ⑦NTA I agree with you wholeheartedly.
    via u/Only_Never Again
  • 17
    PurplePufferPea NTA!!! The sad part of this story is that when the wife comes home, this man is NOT going to immediately kiss the ground she walks on, thank her for the disproportionate load she's been carrying for the sake of
    via u/PurplePufferPea
  • 18
    the family, and acknowledge that he needs to carry more weight going forward.
    via u/PurplePufferPea
  • 19
    Instead, he's going to be ped off and grumpy at her for "abandoning" him like this and tell her that she's not a good mom for leaving for so long and she shouldn't do that to "the family" again. Then he's going to go pop open a beer and settle down in
    via u/PurplePufferPea
  • 20
    front of the TV for the rest of the day/weekend/week, because "he's earned it" after what she put him through.
    via u/PurplePufferPea
  • 21
    PonderWholAm NTA - I hope your husband doesn't try to continue to place blame on you. Because if he really wanted to help, he would've picked up the phone himself and went to help his BIL. Don't let him use you as a scapegoat.
    via u/PonderWholAm
  • 22
    BIL has 2 school age kids, they are way easier to entertain than if they were younger. He just doesn't know how to engage with his own kids and that's sad.
    via u/PonderWholAm
  • 23
    Autumnbaby88 NTA at all. Your BIL is using weaponized incompetence.
    via u/Autumnbaby88
  • 24
    You'd think this would give him a better appreciation for his wife, but how much you want to bet when she comes home he's going to tell her she's not going anywhere again without him or the kids?
    via u/Autumnbaby88

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